Father and Son

Father and Son

What mother in her right mind would not want a healthy relationship between her son and his father? Ever since we broke up, about five years ago, my sons mother has continued to say bad things about me to our child. Since my son is young and impressionable, his mother is effectively painting a bad picture of me in our sons head. This is not just hurting me, but our son as well.

In the past, my sons mother has consistently gotten away with violating the orders given to her by the court. She has even moved without telling me. When they disappeared, I exhausted many avenues in my attempt to locate them. I went to the clerks office in the courthouse, filed a report with the police, called my sons mother and babysitter, and even contacted their employers, to no avail. My lawyer even tried contacting her lawyer, but it still took three years for me to find them. 

I finally contacted a friend, who worked with detectives, and she got me the address. The papers were given to my sons mother the next day. Since then, the court has been taking baby steps to reconnect me with my son. 

One afternoon, I arrived at my sons mothers house to pick him up. Tensions were high, however, and things quickly got out of hand. My sons mother threw hot coffee in my face, and I instinctively pulled her hair. This ended badly for me because my sons mother had already obtained a restraining order against me. Additionally, I never told the police about the third-degree burns I received from the coffee. 

It has been two years since my son and I started seeing each other again. The visits with my son were initially just meetings, lasting for a few hours, but evolved into my son staying with me overnight. My son was ecstatic; he told me he loved me and started giving away hugs and kisses. I was happy about the progress, and was ready to go back to court to request my weekend visits, which would last from Friday to Sunday evenings.

Despite the appearance of progress, nothing had changed. I received a phone call from my sons mother. She wanted me to sign my sons passport, which would have allowed him to leave the country. Since I didnt agree to this, I declined, so my sons angry mother falsely accused me of pushing our child. The next week we were in court.

The court decided that my son and I should see a psychologist. Since we met with Lisa Hacker in her office, my son has stated that I did not push him. My son was just saying whatever his mother instructed him to say. My son is only nine, and when he spends 95 percent of his time around his mother, his tendency is to simply go along with the things she says. 

The visits with Lisa have been eye-opening. The damage my ex is inflicting on my relationship with my son is surreal. She continues to fill my sons head with negative propaganda. She tells him that I abandoned him, cheated her, hurt her and never made it to the hospital the day he was born. 

With all of this negativity being embedded into my sons head, how am I ever supposed to have a positive relationship with him? The minute my son and I part, his mother starts in and changes his mind about me. How in the world can I compete with her full-time influence?

The court now has proof that my sons mother has been relentlessly sabotaging me for years. Every time my son and I meet with Lisa, my son cries and talks about the harm his mother is inflicting on our relationship. It is hard for my son to understand that his mother has using him as a weapon against me since he was four. 

Now is the time for the court to do the right thing. A child is better off growing up with two loving parents. Since this has not been the case, it is only fair that I should receive full custody to help make up for lost time. She has now had our son for more than half of his childhood, but there are still nine years left. Its plenty of time to form a secure and lasting bond, to convince my son that his father really does love and care for him deeply. If given the chance, I know I could change our relationship back to what it used to be